Police Officer involved in Severe Single Car Accident

ALDERNEY – Master Police Officer Bebeau is recovering in an Alderney Hospital after becoming involved in a serious single vehicle collision.

Sgt. Burke with the Alderney Police Department commented on the matter; stating the following: “We are looking into why the officer collided head on with a tree. As a MPO he has excelled in his previous performance reviews.”

Officer Bebeau was transported to an area hospital for treatment of non life threatening injuries. Initial reports indicate no drugs or alcohol impairment.

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Sgt. Pryor – 510B

ALETA Training Sgt.

AVPD DUI Supervisor

www.avpd.us

Man Escapes From Alderney State Correctional Facility

ALDERNEY CITY –

At approximately 9:00 AM today; a man by the name of “Joe Douglas” has escaped from prison. Early reports indicate that the two on-duty prison guards patrolling his wing were jacked up on unknown drugs and alcohol. LCPD has made no comment on this matter. No further details have been released.

Burger Shot — Yay or Nay?

Many of you may be very familiar with the popular food chain; Burger Shot. Recent reports have come into LCNN from various undisclosed sources that Burger Shot is not serving what they say they are.

 

Lakeesha Bucket, Alderney City:

 

Wailll, I was driving down the road, and all of the sudden; a big ass jabba the hut looking dude jumped out in front of me and told me the world was gonna end or something if I didn’t eat Burger Shot! I was like “Oh HAIL NAW!” and went right in and bought their six patty hamburger. I ate it, and what do you know; the world didn’t end.

 

 

Excuse me? Producers; what kind of sources are these?

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